the eternal dilemma

Today's work outfit

I bought this dress like four weeks ago, mainly because it was love at first sight the moment I laid eyes on it. But then when I tried it on, I realized all my belly fat poked out and created this nasty bulge, not to mention I had to hold my breath and try to suck my stomach in as much as possible for it to zip up. 

Even so, I still bought it, mainly because of my wounded ego. How could it be that I was so fat I didn't fit into the 'L' size of one of my favorite stores anymore?  I told myself it would work as motivation to lose weight so I could fit in nicely eventually. 

Ever since that day, I've lost around 3-4 kgs, so the dress fits slightly better, but as you can see it is still rather tight around my hips, and the bulge in my stomach refuses to quit. That's why I usually wear it like so: 

This is one of my nasty habits related to my insecurities about my weight: I tend to use sweaters over anything that is slightly fitted. I also have a knack for buying oversized tops to hide my belly fat and 3/4 or long sleeves to hide my flabby arms (in case it were sleeveless, I use a sweater or a blazer over it and never take it off, not even if I'm melting). I never actually noticed this habit until I met my best friend, who began nagging me to stop wearing sweaters over things and to avoid oversized clothing like the plague. As a matter of fact, not only did that guy push me into bolder clothing (short dresses, fitted tops, or a.k.a. clothes I would have never even considered wearing, ever) he actually managed to make me a bit more comfortable in my own skin. 

So I'm still struggling with my self-image, but I've made some progress, TRUST ME. It would be awesome to look back at this post a year from now and be all like 'Damn, I'm so glad the sweater-wearing era is behind me!'. Or something like that.